Zorpla's Weekly Bun-scopes
If you prefer following rules and doing what ZEPLA TELLS YOU, LEAVE NOW. fORTUNE favors the BOLD!
Zorpla's Weekly Bun-scopes
Written by Zorpla, because Zepla is too busy being a "PrOfESsIoNAl s-cOrP OwNeR" (LIES!!!)
The stars see you pulling that pack before the healer has mana. Embrace the chaos. Your loot roll will be a 69. Nice.
You will find a rare transmog item today. Do NOT share it with your guild mates. A true Bunarchist keeps the shiny things for themselves.
Your attention span is in “tab‑explosion mode” today. You’ll bounce between three games, two Discord calls, and a YouTube essay about a topic you don’t even care about. The stars say this is normal for you. Just remember which window has the boss fight before you alt‑tab back in.
The moon is in your favor, which means it’s a great day to post memes. If a Bundamentalist tries to stop you, just sidestep the conversation like a crab and keep going.
Your aura is GLOWING. People will compliment your transmog, your glam, your outfit. even if you didn’t change anything. Use this cosmic spotlight wisely: stand in the town square and aura farm (in game or irl you do you).
You will spend 45 minutes reading patch notes and then log in to do absolutely none of the things you planned. The stars encourage you to stop min‑maxing your grocery list and instead embrace one (1) moment of zen today. Maybe even skip a daily quest.
Balance is for Bundamentalists. make impulse buys. TREAT YO SELF.
Scorpio, this week the universe is handing you main character energy but also… the kind of main character who walks into a room and immediately forgets why they’re there. It’s fine. It’s powerful in its own way.
Your creativity is overflowing like a poorly‑placed lava texture. You’ll get the sudden urge to redesign your in‑game house, your desktop layout, and possibly your entire life. Follow this impulse . but maybe finish one project before starting seven more.
You are determined, focused, and ready to grind , until something mildly cute distracts you. A pet, a mount, a cosmetic, a random NPC animation… suddenly your productivity is gone. The stars say it’s fine. You’ll climb the metaphorical mountain tomorrow. Probably.
Your brain is in full "I can fix the UI" mode. You’ll spend more time modding, tweaking settings, and customizing hotbars than actually playing. Someone will tell you it’s unnecessary. They are wrong. Your vision is beyond mortal comprehension.
You will attempt to have a peaceful, cozy gaming session… and immediately get matched with the most chaotic group imaginable. The stars advise deep breathing, hydration, and accepting that you are the emotional support healer/tank/DPS whether you want to be or not.